Use Your Therapist Well

I used to work more as a Brief Therapist and over the years have realized that this approach doesn’t suit everyone. The basic idea is that we contract for 10 sessions and might extend to 11, if needed. This is said to help the client and Therapist to focus more intensely on finding a way forward.
That approach still plays into how I work as a Systemic Therapist and I also am aware that there can be tremendous benefits from seeing clients for longer periods of time. It is very rare for me to work with clients for anything less than 30 sessions.

Why have I changed?

1. Most people benefit from building up a rapport with their Therapist and this takes time.
2. In order to really get to know my client I want to do a lot of work to understand their personality and the context of their childhood, especially their Family of Origin.
3. Doing this helps me to be less ignorant of the background that impacts the client’s perspective of self and life and it helps me to hypothesize, with the client, alternate viewpoints of how some problematic behaviors, communication patterns and perceptions have arisen.
4. In my own experience, of being a Therapee, I benefitted greatly from having a therapist who knew a lot of my background. When I had a major decision to make this person was invaluable to me. They ‘Got me’.
5. We are very complex beings and what we learned about Life, Relationships, Parenthood, Feelings, Being a fe/male, Intimacy, Death, Finances, Careers, etc was largely put in place in a developmental period of life. We soaked it all up like a sponge takes in water. Until we do some good Therapy that ‘stuff’ has a huge impact on who we are and how we are. We need to be able to see it and feel it, in order to increase the potential for the change we desire.

What do you want from Therapy and a Therapist? Do you want deep change (into who you really are) or do you want a Band Aid??

Choose carefully!